Spring Break

What a crazy year! Interviewing for new jobs, landing positions in Prague, discovering we are pregnant, cancelling our Sri Lanka trip and going home to spend 2.5 weeks with family and friends and to secure Aiston's citizenship - all before completing our eighth and final year in Manila and moving to Czech Republic in June.

Phew.

It's official - Aiston is a United States citizen! This was the last part in what seemed a never-ending process at times. After 3.5 years, Aiston's journey to becoming our legal son with the same privileges is over. Not only does he have his Certificate of Citizenship, but he has a brand new passport with his cute little mug on it, too. He is fortunate to be able to keep and use both his Philippines and U.S. passports and thinks it's pretty special that he comes from two places. We are so relieved this final step is complete and that we can now focus on the new little arrival in July.

Our time at home was bittersweet. Obviously, we will not travel back to our home or to Seattle this summer due to the impending stork visit, but we did get to soak up a whole lot of sun and R&R at the Shoug. I don't know if I have ever experienced such a beautiful spring in the Pacific Northwest. The weather was absolutely stunning - comfortable days requiring light layers or a cozy fleece, and cool, refreshing evenings.

The River: A Child's Dream

We got to stay at our place two different times and since Jeremy, Tearie and Shayde are living in it for now, we were more like guests in our own home. But, that was perfect because we got to relax as Tearie thoughtfully prepared meals and took care of the household chores. Ace clung to Shayders like glue during our visit and loved sleeping in his bunk bed, playing outside and watching a few movies. We got to catch up with Aaron, MK and Julian, gobble up some BV and take a few walks. As we had done most of our shopping online before we came home, there wasn't much to do except take it all in, knowing we most likely won't be back until Christmas. The boys had a blast hunting for Easter eggs, separating their money from their candy and discovering what the Easter Bunny had brought them. It struck me that this was the first time we had celebrated a slightly more traditional holiday with a delicious feast afterwards with Tim and Lola and that this would be the last opportunity we would enjoy time at home as a threesome. 

We also got to spend time with Lola in Seattle, doing the things we love best - walking, "Pirate-ship Park" playing, frequenting Kiss Cafe in Ballard and hanging out with the fam. I think I doubled in size over the break due to my massive gorging on Easter treats, fattening fast food and a few ice cream indulgences. It was fun to show off the belly, and to continue feeling the little guy's movements as he squirms about in there. 

It was very hard to leave this time. Aiston had tears. I had tears. Cory had tears. It was a wonderful, rejuvenating stay. We are on to new life experiences and adventures, but always, it feels so good to be home.

Life

At 21 weeks, with baby the length of a carrot and starting to nudge and twist and kick inside my belly, it's impossible not to be in awe of this little being that is growing.

When we officially discovered we were pregnant on December 1, 2014, our initial reactions were less than excited. Our emotions verged on disappointment, anxiety, utter denial and indifference. We were over becoming birth parents and realized we no longer had the desire to give birth to a child of our own making. We had always just wanted a family and Aiston had given that gift to us. We were content with our beautiful, thriving family of three. On top of that, the timing for a new addition could not have been worse - a due date at the end of July while starting new jobs at the beginning of August, after eight unsuccessful years of trying to conceive? The irony of it all seemed beyond belief.

As the days ticked by, with multiple doctor visits and scans, the pregnancy seemed less than ideal with possible genetic anomalies, the absolute last thing we wanted to deal with - another failed pregnancy, another emotional roller coaster, another grieving process to endure, another thing to distract us from our focus on a new life in a new country. I guess you could surmise that we were on edge about the pregnancy for the entire first trimester, where I felt generally well, just tired and nauseous in the afternoons with a smattering of headaches and stuffy noses in between. In a sense, we tried to forget about the pregnancy altogether since we were not hopeful it would even turn out to be viable.

But, at around 14 weeks, when blood results came back negative for genetic anomalies and we learned we were having a boy, that Aiston would have a little brother, it began to sink in that this might become our reality, that this little being was taking a stand. He was going to change our family forever, give us hope again and help foster in us a greater appreciation for life itself because that is what he was meant to do.

After informing the appropriate people at our new school in Prague about the pregnancy, shifting our mindset on moving with three + a baby on the way and deciding to give birth in Prague, we finally felt free and comfortable enough to begin sharing the news with close friends, one by one. I never realized what an exhilarating experience that would be and I did not take their shocked expressions, tremendous smiles and warm hugs for granted.

Come the end of February, we viewed baby on the monitor during a congenital scan, where the doctor pointed out all of his major body parts and organs, which appeared normal and healthy. At this point in our second trimester, I was feeling some back pain, minor abdominal cramping, vicious heartburn and extreme exhaustion. It would all come and go, but it became necessary to start sleeping with a body pillow to make side-sleeping more comfortable and to keep my head propped up for clearer sinuses. Combine these symptoms with a stomach flu that seemed to last for three weeks, and I was fairly miserable. After the reassurance we felt from the congenital scan, we took photos for an announcement to send to family and friends, which was met with sincere exclamations of joy, enthusiasm, disbelief and "I told you sos."

19 Weeks

Although our son had already suspected that the reason mommy's belly was growing was due to the fact that there was a baby inside, we officially shared the news with him as he opened specially-wrapped boxes of books and a new baby brother doll. His remarks have been some of the most insightful, with the dearest one being, "Mom, you get to be a birthmother! You are my Forever Mommy, but you will be my brother's birthmother!" Aiston also got to view his baby brother on the monitor when he joined us for a "show-off" scan during a follow-up appointment with our doctor. Watching his face was priceless as he tried to make sense of it all. In another special experience, Aiston had the opportunity to share the news with my amazing class this year, all of whom have been giddy with excitement over the pregnancy, suggesting names and asking intriguing, if not slightly personal, questions. Aiston's classmates have been inquiring into life cycles and human babies in particular, and I was able to go down to their room to answer some of their silly sweet sentiments.

This brings us to Week 21, where baby's legs have unfurled, nearly doubling his length from a week or two ago, and whose new stretched-out self has produced movements I can actually feel. It is one of my two most favorite things of all - sensing the tiny movements inside the belly and seeing and hearing the strong heartbeat when we watch the monitor during our scans. I look for the heartbeat every time very first thing because the loss of the other two still haunts me. Both the flutters or vibrations and the heartbeat are the most reassuring things in the world and I am so grateful for them every single time. By now, baby weighs 3/4 of a pound and it is obvious that I am expecting. I can finally wear the clothes that I allowed myself to shop for, and during this week, I can say I have felt the best I have all pregnancy. I actually feel very beautiful.

Life has been crazy through it all - the preparation for Prague is an immense undertaking. We have led very full lives here in the Philippines over the last eight years and have a ton to organize. In addition, we have Aiston's U.S. citizenship to secure, immigration paperwork beyond our imagining and must think about how best to prepare for the little guy's arrival whilst in Prague with uncertainty over the timing of our shipment during the course of a major, and earlier than expected, move. Needless to say, most evenings are filled with chores, most weekends are scheduled to the brim with things that need to get done, and there is really no rest for the weary.

All that being said, we wouldn't have it any other way. We feel so blessed to have the opportunity to become birthparents, to have the gift of two incredible experiences of building a family, each with a story so unique and meaningful.

This road to parenthood was never easy for us, but has been completely worth it. We feel the love from those closest to us and appreciate all that they, YOU, do to support us.

What an epic journey this thing we call life is.

9 Weeks; around Christmas time in Vietnam

11 Weeks; around New Year's in the Philippines

17 Weeks

 21 Weeks