Final Farewells

I hate that word final. Because it's never really final, as every experience affects you and shapes you into the person you are continuously growing into. Nonetheless, final in this case means last, one more, a departure from.

And so...

Our final school year in Manila ended calmly. We spent time wrapping up with close friends, shedding tears and sharing hugs. We squeezed our final provisions into suitcases and boxes for the flight to Europe. We gave away our remaining items and choked out a tearful farewell to Delia. We stayed at school longer than anyone else on the last day to take care of any remaining tasks, but really just to dwell on our time here and all that ISM has meant to us. Driving away was hard.

Saying goodbye or see-you-later is never easy. I am grateful to have finished teaching at ISM on a high: best class ever, fabulous grade level team, admirable administration, so much expertise gained. I am grateful for a zen year at work and at home, despite the stress of finding new jobs, preparing for a big move and being pregnant. I am grateful for our friends and our helpers. I am grateful for the life we were able to build for ourselves. I am grateful to have had this opportunity.

Words don't really capture the range of emotions experienced during these moments. So, I think it's best to just post some photos and be done with it.

Ate Mariz and Ate Delia

Heart of Mary Villa

The Freemacs

Friends at Work and for Life

Off to new adventures. Another journey awaits...

Feeling (and looking) Bigger but Feeling Great

At 31 weeks, we have been lucky to have a 4D scan, where we can view Baby Patterson more completely. As I continue to grow and get a bit more uncomfortable, especially in this heat, it is incredible to remember what a miracle it is that there is this life being fine tuned inside my belly. The 4D scan photos are somewhat cool (even Cory and I struggled with these alien-like images and would have preferred whole-body shots via ultrasound instead as the placement of Baby P and the shadows made "photographing" him difficult), but they may also freak you out some:

At this point, I have gained 17 pounds. I am carrying quite low, which makes fitting into any sort of shorts or pants incredibly difficult, not to mention that I have limited options in shirts that could even cover the expanding torso. So, dresses and stretchy skirts have become the norm. I am feeling wonderful, considering we are now well into the third trimester. I have seemed to have found a balance between diet, exercise, vitamins and supplements, relaxation and positive thinking that have made carrying this baby a rather joyful experience. I hope to bring this through to the birthing process.

Aiston is processing the baby's impending arrival in his own way. Not only is his brother making him contemplate his own birth, adoption experience and his relationship with me, but Baby P is also making him think deeply about moving on and losing connections with his birth country, birthmother and his friends. He has been extremely sensitive lately to topics surrounding his entry into the world and to adoption itself and we have had some heartbreaking, but necessary, conversations about the miracle that he has been and continues to be. We consistently honor his emotions and share pictures of his birthmother with him, reassuring him that it is normal to have these feelings and that they are valid. He has been acting out, too - in gymnastics class, at school and at home. This could be a sign of things to come, but it is our job as his parents to help him process everything he is feeling and channel his emotions in positive directions. We have really tried to downplay the whole pregnancy experience and although we feel that the baby deserves to have his own story cherished and shared, we mustn't forget the impact that Aiston's lack of a "birth story" with us has on him and must highlight that both of our boys' journeys to us are of equal importance and uniqueness.

We feel very blessed to spend three more weeks in the Philippines, cherishing time with our friends who have become our family. We have been planning special activities with Aiston and have been counting down the days to our departure with a chain. Every night, Aiston rips off a link and we write down something we are grateful for about living here for the past eight years. We think this might help all of us to begin to say goodbye and make sense of all the changes to come. We are ready for this, but we are not naive. It will not be easy. And while the grass may literally be greener in Prague, there will be some discolored, patchy spots, too.

Going to Miss These Girls

Last weekend was lovely. A group of ten of us went away for a ladies weekend. We stayed in a beautiful villa overlooking the sea. We slept in, got massages, chatted and ate all weekend long. It was so relaxing that I was still tired two days later. It was a wonderful way to cap off eight years with these gals. Saying "farewell for now" is not going to be easy, but I have started to let the emotions roll, not because I'm pregnant, but because I think it's the healthy thing to do. I have loved having such a supportive network of friends here in Manila and they will most certainly be one of the most difficult things to part with. Moving to Prague without such a network is going to be a challenge, particularly as I will not be working for the first half of the year. I hope I am prepared for this. I feel blessed to have been part of this experience with these amazing women and to appreciate one last getaway in the midst of all the end-of-year/end-of-contract/end-of-a-quarter-of-my-life chaos.

28 Weeks

This week marks the beginning of the third trimester. It's surreal knowing that we have made it this far. Baby is about 14 inches long and weighs about three pounds. He is most active after dinner and when the alarm clock wakes me up in the morning, and at different times throughout the day. Cory and I still get this jolt of excitement every time we have a doctor's appointment and get to "see" him. Babies really are miracles.

Last week, I was blessed by three events: A class baby shower, Ryan and Sofia's final visit from Singapore and a baby shower with my girlfriends. Sofia made the call to come last weekend so that she could join the celebration. I'm thankful that she did.

The class shower was organized by my room parent, who had planned fun games for the kids and I, a vegan chocolate cake to indulge in and a diaper cake as the gift (along with some really cute pjs). The afternoon was light-hearted and sweet, and it was fun to watch the kids' reactions over attending a baby shower for their teacher.

There are not really words to describe how much it means to me that Aiston looks forward to his Tito and Tita's visits and easily reconnects with them once they are here. He cried when they left. And there are also no words to describe what the baby shower meant to me. It was hosted by three of my very close friends in Manila - Joanna, Joni and Kristen. They booked out my favorite little local vegetarian eatery, Corner Tree Cafe, and decorated it with flowers, pregnancy and family photos, and worldly artifacts to go along with the "Welcome to the World" theme. About 15 ladies were in attendance and they all contributed to a travel bag full of Euros for baby items that we will need once in Prague, and an envelope filled with sentiments for future times when it might be difficult for me to be without my dearest friends nearby. We played a couple of games, dined on delicious food and enjoyed lovely conversation. The amount of time, effort and thought behind the shower truly impressed me and made me feel loved and appreciated. I wasn't expecting it to be such a wonderful time, but it was, and I didn't want it to end. Tears flowed when a short speech was made. Happy tears for the gift that is this baby and heartbroken tears over moving away from these incredible women in six weeks time.